9/2//2012

My heart longs to be of that who is free. Like a bird; like an eagle. That of one who is of a wild horse. Galloping through open fields of grass and open skies; with anywhere to go. My heart longs for thee. I have this lust for life that is incomparable to what the Lord has in store for me. Yet I still long for it. I yearn for it. To know and be known. To love and be loved. Its right stretched before me and all I have to do is take it. Its mine for the taking. Yet I cannot. I can’t let myself give up that control. The control that fuels inside of me. His hand is there. And sometimes my fingers graze his palms. Sometime I can even hold on. Yet I let go because I feel as though I can walk by myself. I feel as though I can do anything on my own. Unfortunately I am foolish. I know no such truth greater than that. I am a fool that leads on my own selfish pride and control that I cannot even live my life as fervently as it was made to be. I can never run those fields as my soul longs to be. Not unless I hold onto his hand for all of time. Not unless I give up my longings and control. Then that is where I shall find true freedom. Freedom in the wilderness, with its ups and downs; out of my control and into the creator’s. It is he who places me into that wild place that my heart longs for. For the adventure I long for in every fiber of my soul.

3/3//2014

Twice the size of ten and half the size of forty; enough in the beginning but not exactly new. Our parents and their parents started their families-their lives much younger- yet we are just discovering who we are. Most of us are piggybacking off them for more than just financial support. We cannot do it alone yet we’re too mature, too refined to help ourselves. And we still don’t know exactly what we want. Well… other than the fact that we want to live.

Most of us, we want to see the world. We want to see and taste and experience and know. Yet we don’t regard the repercussions. Myself included. I’m not the typical twenty-something in America. I say this because my life, my lifestyle is different than most.

Most of my generation and the generations before me cling to something different: the American dream. This sad and heartbreaking reality speaks through the very culture that I live and reside in. Yet I must try and deny. I must hear the call. I don’t want to miss it. I don’t want to lose any of my chances. These chances can lead me to the greatest of adventures that unlock what we long for. What we try to live for. That makes us fall. You can live the call. You can live the adventure. Don’t miss it.